Dear Tyler, please don't sue me

It started out like any other day that begins in court.

It was raining, which, in hindsight, probably should have tipped me off to the clusterfuck of events that I was headed toward. The same way an ominous sky in a Shakespearean tragedy alerts the audience to imminent danger. Or that soothsayer predicted Caesar would be stabbed to death by lunchtime. Alas, my own "beware the Ides of March" warning was slightly less dramatic, but I was already late after showing up at the wrong courthouse, so it's not like I heeded it anyway. 

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How to be a vegetarian in an Italian family

"Hi, my name is Ava and I am a vegetarian."

This simple statement has raised more questions and concern about my life, my health than anything I could ever say about not wanting to wear pants (though that's quickly becoming a close second).

And the truth is, my giving-up-meat story is a mundane one at best: one day I ate a piece chicken, and then decided that I would not be eating chicken (or any other kind of meat) again. That was more than six years ago. And yet it's truly amazing how my family has managed to retain the same level of surprise every time I turn down a slice of homemade salami or grilled lamb on a stick. Because when you tell your Italian family that you will no longer be eating spiducci – by choice! – you may as well be saying that you are abandoning your country, your last name and your mom for a slice of white bread and an early death: the fate of "whale-kissing, Dukakis-hugging moon maidens," according to my brothers and Rainier Wolfcastle.

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Tights are not pants: A life lesson

The milder temperature in Toronto this week ignited an age-old debate with a friend over text. "K I should have worn pants today. My legs r freezing," Cynthia sent me one morning. Piquing my interest – because why would anyone say such a thing? – I probed her to explain. "I love pants so much because I hate tights so much. Nothing makes me angry like tights."

While I fundamentally disagree with her premise, I wholeheartedly support her right to say so. And anyone who opposes an article of clothing so vehemently deserves to be heard.

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